Kenya Talks

I had a date last year on a Saturday night. A first date. It was, in so many ways, the best first date I’ve had in years. It was also the worst date (first or otherwise) I’ve had in years.

And now I’m utterly confused and miserable. Because it was just so nice to spend time with a man who made me think, this is what I’ve been missing. It felt so goddamn amazing to just sit and talk with him.

No, that’s not right. Those words aren’t strong enough. Because the thing is, I can’t actually remember the last time I felt this much for any guy. Well, that’s not true. I do remember and it was a long time ago. And I’ve really missed that feeling. That genuine joy to just be spending time with someone.

We like the same music, used to hang out at the same bars (back in the day), worship many of the same writers. And we even got into a heated argument about whether a specific book was a great work of art. It was lovely, really, to be able to do that. To talk about something I cared about on a date. With a man I’m actually attracted to.

So I stayed a little longer than I should have. I had a tiny bit more to drink than I usually do (just a tiny bit) and he proceeded to get trashed. And at some point I realized that he was a very unpleasant drunk. I said something he didn’t like and he turned on me. And I do mean turned. It was like all of the charm and light just left the man I’d been talking to for the few hours prior and he became this angry stranger.

It’s a phenomenom I have some experience with.

The night ended bizarrely. I had to go

Thats the real him. Its not the alcohol . Leave him. Date a guy who becomes nice when hes drunk hahaha!

Logical Nonsense wrote:I had a date last year on a Saturday night. A first date. It was, in so many ways, the best first date I’ve had in years. It was also the worst date (first or otherwise) I’ve had in years.

And now I’m utterly confused and miserable. Because it was just so nice to spend time with a man who made me think, this is what I’ve been missing. It felt so goddamn amazing to just sit and talk with him.

No, that’s not right. Those words aren’t strong enough. Because the thing is, I can’t actually remember the last time I felt this much for any guy. Well, that’s not true. I do remember and it was a long time ago. And I’ve really missed that feeling. That genuine joy to just be spending time with someone.

We like the same music, used to hang out at the same bars (back in the day), worship many of the same writers. And we even got into a heated argument about whether a specific book was a great work of art. It was lovely, really, to be able to do that. To talk about something I cared about on a date. With a man I’m actually attracted to.

So I stayed a little longer than I should have. I had a tiny bit more to drink than I usually do (just a tiny bit) and he proceeded to get trashed. And at some point I realized that he was a very unpleasant drunk. I said something he didn’t like and he turned on me. And I do mean turned. It was like all of the charm and light just left the man I’d been talking to for the few hours prior and he became this angry stranger.

It’s a phenomenom I have some experience with.

The night ended bizarrely. I had to go

The guy could probably be thinking the same things:

1. You are a very unpleasant drunk
2. You say mean things when you are drunk

Maybe the thing that you told him wounded him; you should have met the following day and talked about it.

Boyboy wrote:

Logical Nonsense wrote:I had a date last year on a Saturday night. A first date. It was, in so many ways, the best first date I’ve had in years. It was also the worst date (first or otherwise) I’ve had in years.

And now I’m utterly confused and miserable. Because it was just so nice to spend time with a man who made me think, this is what I’ve been missing. It felt so goddamn amazing to just sit and talk with him.

No, that’s not right. Those words aren’t strong enough. Because the thing is, I can’t actually remember the last time I felt this much for any guy. Well, that’s not true. I do remember and it was a long time ago. And I’ve really missed that feeling. That genuine joy to just be spending time with someone.

We like the same music, used to hang out at the same bars (back in the day), worship many of the same writers. And we even got into a heated argument about whether a specific book was a great work of art. It was lovely, really, to be able to do that. To talk about something I cared about on a date. With a man I’m actually attracted to.

So I stayed a little longer than I should have. I had a tiny bit more to drink than I usually do (just a tiny bit) and he proceeded to get trashed. And at some point I realized that he was a very unpleasant drunk. I said something he didn’t like and he turned on me. And I do mean turned. It was like all of the charm and light just left the man I’d been talking to for the few hours prior and he became this angry stranger.

It’s a phenomenom I have some experience with.

The night ended bizarrely. I had to go

The guy could probably be thinking the same things:

1. You are a very unpleasant drunk
2. You say mean things when you are drunk

Maybe the thing that you told him wounded him; you should have met the following day and talked about it.

Boyboy, on Sunday afternoon, he called. It was a quick call. He mentioned he was sick all night and blamed it on the bar food (I ordered us some food when I realized how much we were drinking). I told him I was fine and so that it probably wasn’t the food. I think I probably said it was nice to hear from him. Honestly, I don’t remember what else was said. Two minutes in he said his train was coming and he had to go, but would call later. And then he didn’t call later.

And I spent the day wrestling with whether or not I should email.

Because, of course, I should. Here’s a man who I actually get along well with. Who gets me, really. Who I could probably spend every second of a week with without once thinking – what a moron.

But, of course, I shouldn’t. Because I already know that he has a dark side to his personality and it lurks just under the surface. And that, just like so many of the men in my past, he’s used to getting his own way. And when he doesn’t he turns into someone I don’t want to know.

*BIG GIANT SIGH*

Logical Nonsense wrote:I had a date last year on a Saturday night. A first date. It was, in so many ways, the best first date I’ve had in years. It was also the worst date (first or otherwise) I’ve had in years.

And now I’m utterly confused and miserable. Because it was just so nice to spend time with a man who made me think, this is what I’ve been missing. It felt so goddamn amazing to just sit and talk with him.

No, that’s not right. Those words aren’t strong enough. Because the thing is, I can’t actually remember the last time I felt this much for any guy. Well, that’s not true. I do remember and it was a long time ago. And I’ve really missed that feeling. That genuine joy to just be spending time with someone.

We like the same music, used to hang out at the same bars (back in the day), worship many of the same writers. And we even got into a heated argument about whether a specific book was a great work of art. It was lovely, really, to be able to do that. To talk about something I cared about on a date. With a man I’m actually attracted to.

So I stayed a little longer than I should have. I had a tiny bit more to drink than I usually do (just a tiny bit) and he proceeded to get trashed. And at some point I realized that he was a very unpleasant drunk. I said something he didn’t like and he turned on me. And I do mean turned. It was like all of the charm and light just left the man I’d been talking to for the few hours prior and he became this angry stranger.

It’s a phenomenom I have some experience with.

The night ended bizarrely. I had to go

So you didn't get a poke? After putting up with all that talking nonsense about books? Dump him; don't waste a time on a man who gets too drunk to even do that.

drinking is not good for health